Stuck in The limbo

The Aftertaste of "No"

Photo by NNEX on Unsplash

You remember the heartbreak I wrote about in “Unfinished Symphonies”?

There’s another kind that doesn’t come crashing in like a thunderstorm. It’s the slow bleed. The silent ache. The confusion that sits like fog or very hot food in your chest.
It’s when someone doesn’t want you—not enough to choose you, not enough to fight for you, not enough to commit to you—but they also won’t leave.

They orbit.
They linger.
They “check in.”
They say things like:
“I miss you sometimes.”
“I think about you often.”
“If only timing were better.”
“You’re such an amazing person… anyone would be lucky to have you.” “Your husband/wife will be so lucky to have you”… bla bla bla!

(But not them. They never say they want it to be them.)

It’s the kind of rejection that doesn’t come clean. It comes in shades of gray. A “No” dressed in warmth, wrapped in “maybe,” coated with the cruelty of almost.

Wanna see how they manifest?

1: The Ones Who Never Leave But Never Really Stay

This was someone you once prayed over. Hard.
Y’all weren’t “together” in the real sense, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally—you were entangled.
He’d text you every other week.
Pop up in your DMs like a ghost who forgot it died.
You'd laugh, have heart-deep conversations, send each other Spotify playlists, and then, radio silence.
Whenever you pulled away, he’d reel you back in.
He said things like, “I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not ready for anything serious.”

So you stayed.
Not in title, but in presence.
In hope.
In illusion.

Until one day, you realized you were waiting at a door he never intended to open. Just jiggling the handle of possibility while he watched from the window. Smiling. Offering you tea but never letting me inside.

2: Team Emotional Bread Crumbs

You know their type nau.
They flirt just enough to keep your heart warm.
Call you “baby” on Tuesdays.
Post cryptic tweets about “missing someone who understands” on Thursdays.
Then disappear Friday through Sunday.
And if you try to define anything, they say, “Let’s not rush it. Let’s just vibe.”

You desire to be chosen, but they want to keep their options open.
So you become a convenience.
A late-night text.
A diary with no lock.
A playlist they play when they’re lonely but never put on repeat.

And somehow… they’ve never technically lied to you.
They just never told you the truth straight.

How To Deal With People Like This

1. Believe what’s not being said.
   Silence is a sentence. Ambiguity is an answer.
   They’re not confused—they’re comfortable. Don’t mistake effortlessness for effort. Don’t make excuses for them.
   

2. Cut the soul tie.
   You don’t need closure from someone who thrives on keeping you open-ended.
   Closure is something you give yourself when truth tastes too bitter, but you drink it anyway. Closure is when you decide that you’ve had enough, and then you find yourself.
   

3. Choose you. Fully.
   Every time you choose someone who won't choose you, you're abandoning yourself.
   Rejection hurts, but self-betrayal? It lingers longer.
   

4. Remember: Mixed signals are red flags.
   Don’t decode texts. Don’t overanalyze late-night voice notes.
   If they wanted you, they would make it clear. They won’t run rings.
   

Give them the boot — by all means!

Stop being a maybe to someone who should have made you a yes.
You deserve presence, not proximity.
A choice, not a convenience.
A love that stands in the light, not one that thrives in shadows.

Because anything less than clarity is cruelty dressed in soft words.
And the aftertaste of “No”?
It lingers… until you spit it out.

If you have to get a restraining order, I support you my dears!